Friends and Friendship?

 As per usual more than likely there are grammatical errors and i sincerely apologise...

I really didn't know what to name this post so i just picked something

So, I like to believe I have a good amount of friends. Just a small circle really cause I’m not a very sociable person. And once I consider you a friend I believe in honouring that friendship and trying everything possible to keep it going. BUT if I’m trying and you’re not, what’s the sense? If I have to be constantly reaching out to you I think that obviously this friendship is one-sided and I feel like shit. There’re not that many people I sold consider my best friends, just a selected few but those few I’m very loyal to but it hurts even more if you’re trying with someone you consider a best friend and they don’t even care. Sure I understand we’re all in that stage where we might be finding ourselves and we’re growing and though some will grow apart I honestly don’t believe that we’re one of those. But what do I know I’m just a teenage girl with raging hormones. Maybe I’m just too sensitive to some things but if you can’t even acknowledge. My presence what am I supposed to think of that? You tell me if you don’t even look at me what should I think?

But I’ve come to the conclusion that if you don’t want to talk to me fine. I am NOT about to push myself where I’m obviously not wanted whether I consider you a friend, best friend, acquaintance or enemy. I’m tired of feeling used by people and feeling like I’m being taken advantage of. I don’t deserve this… no one does and I’m not gonna put myself in a position to be further embarrassed.