A Letter to G

A Letter to G

Now, I’ve already written one letter and this should be my second and last but who really knows what will happen. Let us be honest with each other, we’ll never truly remember how we met but that’s ok because I’m just glad that we did. That’s the most important thing. And we really started talking because of cake. Food. Food has been one of the many things that our friendship has circled which is perfect to me.

          It was in 2012 when we ‘really met’ and became closer and closer and we haven’t stopped since. We’ve become basically inseparable and I’m perfectly fine with that. If you’re not, too bad. That’s just how it is. I don’t know if you realise the impact you’ve had on my life and how much I admire you. You have truly changed me and showed me a light that not many others are able to. It warms my heart that we have become so close in such a short amount of time and that we understand each other so well.

          I admire you for so much. You’re strength, your spirituality and your heart. You’re such a kind person that holds no judgement on others and those are such rare qualities that when I find them in people I grab on to them and hold them close. We have celebrated and mourned together but that is what friends are for. And you are my friend, one of the best anyone could ask for.

          I am truly grateful for everything that you have done for me and continue to do even though half of the times you don’t even realise it. You are one of the two people in my life that though we were not born as family, you still are. You are family and you are loved greatly, especially me. (one of the most touching things you ever did was put me as your emergency contact. I doubt you realise how much it touched me but to know you trusted me that much to put me down as one made a world of difference to me). So, all I ask of you is to continue being the wonderful person that you are and shine one the rest of the world just as how you shone your light on me.

Lovingly yours

Xoxo

:)

A Letter to K

A Letter to K

This was originally supposed to be handwritten and hidden for you to find at the most random time but that hasn’t happened. But I promise to get to it eventually, because physical notes are the best. Let’s go back 10 years to when I probably first saw you. I like to not use the word hate, so let’s just say that I very strongly disliked you. You were not my favourite person. From the in form beauty pageant to the lunch orders, some may say we were never destined to be friends. But somewhere in the transition from one academic year to the other, we became friends. Neither of us remember how but it did happen. And if not you but I believe that that was one of the best things that could have possibly happened to me. I’m happy we became friends and now basically inseparable.

       We tend not to be the best communicators, whether it’s talking about our feelings or just even when it comes to seeing each other often, but when we do, it’s like nothing has changed. We sit and talk(sometimes sleep), eat, watch a show/movie….or ten and it’s like everything is fine. For those few hours, there are no problems because we help each other to forget. It’s a time for reasoning. It’s a time where we let loose and allow for expression with no room for judgement.

       Ok, this is where I get a little mooshy. Without having met you, I don’t think I’d be the person I am today. You have taught me so much and continue to teach me each day. You have been a light in the darkness for me many times and for that I am truly grateful. I doubt that if it wasn’t for you, I’d be able to properly express myself at the level that I exhibit today. And even though I’m not the best at it, it’s way better than it could have been. You have provided a safe space for me to be able to express my thoughts with no judgement with the knowledge that I can always come to you and talk to you. You allow me to speak my mind with the knowledge that you would only provide guidance where you can and when needed.

       I don’t think I will ever be able to truly express my gratitude and love for how much you have done for me and with me. But thank you. From the bottom of my heart you have impacted me in such a positive way that you may never understand but I will try to explain when I can for, hopefully, the rest of my life.

Lovingly yours

Xoxo

:)

GRADES: Passing And Failing

So i haven't really read this over so i apologise for any grammatical errors that may occur.

N.B. this post i realised is mainly geared towards the failing part....not much of a balance i know

So, as a UWI student, no matter what is said by most persons above you there are just some things that you have to experience on your own. Now as a Science and tech student, the stress of the faculty alone leaves you miserable half of the time. Finishing up my second year, I’ve observed a lot and there are just so many things that I either never expected or didn’t think would really happen. By now you know what this bog post is about if not then I have no words for you really.

        When I came to UWI people always told me, go to your tutorials, and lectures, get involved, blah, blah, blah. The whole works and so I tried my best to listen. By the end of my first year, I realised what they should have told me about tutorials in specific are ‘DO THE TUTORIALS BEFORE GOING TO THE ACTUAL TUTORIAL’. Maybe they thought it would have been given that I would have but no. I don’t know about the other faculties that much but I am convinced that in first year Sci and Tech weeds you out, They give you the most demanding timetable especially if you want to have options for second year if you’re not 100% sure about what you want to do. I remember in first year I’d have class straight from 8 in the morning to 6 in the evening and then after that you either had labs to do or tutorials due the next day, next week, etc. and not to mention the fact that you’re advised to read over your lecture notes/slides and prepare for the next lecture. Sometimes you have to wonder…’are there really enough hours in the day?’ And then after your first year you realise how many people decide that it’s not for them. Too hard and switch faculties. You know where they end up sometimes? The faculty of social sciences or if they did so excellently and this was their plan from before they end up at Med Sci.

        Being a person planning to graduate from Sci and Tech, I decided maybe it’s my duty to help pass on some of my limited knowledge. Now, in regards to when you actually get your grades, that’s what we’re really here for. UWI’s pass mark is 50% as you would know by now. IF you’re in or have ever been a part of Sci and Tech and NEVER failed a course then good for you. I applaud you and would love to learn your technique. I’m told that knowing your studying technique and making sure it’s effective for you is the way to go but even then so far, most people I know have failed AT LEAST one course from that faculty. Most times after you’ve failed something you want to know why? How comes?(especially if you thought you did really well) and why once more. I’m the type of person that stresses over grades but at the same time doesn’t stress…I don’t know how else to explain it.

        The point of all this ranting though is to tell you that even though you’ve failed, it’s not the end of the world. Cliché, I know but it’s true. You will recover. How do I know cause I’ve been through it all. And some people when reading will say, ‘I didn’t read this to hear from someone who failed one course to tell me that it’s gonna be alright, you don’t know what I’m going through’. I do. I’m not gonna give a number of how many I have failed because it’s really none of your business but I just wanted you to know, if you really want it you’ll push through. One day things must be better. That I honestly believe, if I didn’t, I would have given up a long time ago. So when you go to sas and you see that F(insert other letter and/or number here) know that there is something called a resit. You can do MEX or in other cases MLX. If it’s a factor that you’ve failed the coursework and so you have to do over the whole course. Push through. Use it as an advantage in your favour by saying, well I’ve done this before and maybe I didn’t catch it the first time but this time around I’ll do much better cause I already kinda know what I’m getting into already. No one but you knows the circumstances that caused you to fail, whether it be family problems, anxiety problems(like myself), you didn’t attend enough classes, you didn’t study as you should have or you hated the subject and had to do it. You have to sit down and say to yourself, I’m going to do this. I might have failed but I can keep going. To help push you along think about the money being spent to send you to school. Whether you’re financing yourself, you’re on a scholarship or even a family member is paying for you, that money had to come from somewhere and the person paying it has faith in you that you can do it. You want to make it across that stage that day of graduation and be able to say I did it. Or even if you don’t go to the graduation you have that degree proudly displayed.

        When it comes to passing there are usually two feelings I associate with this, relief or absolute joy. Relief that you actually passed and you’re just glad that you don’t have to do over the exam. And joy that yes I knew I could do it and I did. I passed and with a decent grade. Some persons I’m told are disappointed at their grades when they have seen them. This has happened to me once and it wasn’t a Science and Tech course. Soooo, I can’t really relate to that part. But passing is a good thing. Look at it and enjoy it and know that you can do better. Look at that grade and say to yourself, I knew I could do it and next year, now knowing what method I used studying for this course I can use it once more next year. IF you’ve found a studying technique that works for you, don’t change it because if someone says that ‘you shouldn’t do that’ unless it’s affecting your health, what works for you won’t necessarily work for me. And that’s ok.

        

Now at the end of this very long blog post, (probably the longest one I’ve ever written) I leave you with one of many things you should know. At the end of the course you should have learned something because in the next year, you’re just going to be adding on information and at that point it’s going to be a little late to realise that you never learnt that because of swatting(even though we all do it). That being said know that if you have failed, it is still possible to come back from it.

Xoxo

:)

Fat vs Skinny

You know the drill, if there are any grammatical errors i apologise profusely, now enjoy...

Now, I am not going to even get into the technicality of this whole thing (what is fat? What is skinny? NO) but I thought I would add my two cents into the pot. So, I was on twitter the other day, as I am every day and a girl said something that brought something to my attention…if you’d like to say that. So she was talking about how people think that ‘skinny’ people do not get ‘skinny-shamed’ (you know like fat-shaming? My wording, not theirs). And I was just like she makes a very good point there. No one ever seems to think that skinny persons do not like being called skinny or being told how small they are. I’ll give them that, however, they kept going and then said something along the lines of them not seeing anyone in the media to match their body type and that’s when I drew the brakes and had to be like hol’ up. I refuse to believe that you think you can’t look at a tv, runway, magazine, anywhere really and say that there’s no one with your body type. (please to excuse my phrasing at this moment) Small boobs, flat stomach and small butt. You are telling me that while growing up you saw no one like that? Then you must have not been watching tv, looking at models, etc. Do not go there.

            As I remember it, while I was growing up, that is all I saw. Only since I have grown have I seen models of bigger sizes, persons with ‘curves’ as people like to say and more. I am not skinny, never was and probably never will be, and I have accepted that and have no problem. You say you are considered skinny and no matter how much you eat, you’ll never get bigger and that too is ok. We all just need to learn to accept what we are and who are and know that your body type does not define you as a person. However, at the same time, even though I agree with the fact that no one ever thinks about persons considered skinny not liking being called that, ‘fat’ people have still endured way more. For years they have been enduring the shame, the insults, the constant bullying, etc just because of their weight. Whether they were able to control it or not, no one ever thought to ask. I have literally heard ‘skinny’ persons say, no matter how much I eat I can’t gain weight. But have you ever heard someone ask a ‘fat’ person, is it that you have a hormonal imbalance? Have you tried to lose weight and no matter what you do it won’t go away? Do you want to lose the weight? Are you happy as you are? NO, at least not to my knowledge. And now we have reached a point in society where being bigger, is not such a bad thing.

            As long as you are healthy and happy, what is it really to anyone else? If you are happy and not healthy then it’s up to you and those close to you to help you to be better. ‘Skinny’ does not equal healthy and ‘fat’ does not equal unhealthy as is society’s thinking for the most part. AT the same time however, I have also realised that persons’ keep saying ‘a real woman has curves’. Let us also draw the brakes there. Who are you to decide that based off my body-shape I am a real woman? Especially when you know nothing about me. What is that really? A real woman I believe is not able to be properly defined because by saying she has to be strong, independent, etc, are you telling me that if I’m weak, I can’t be considered a real woman, if I like being dependent on someone else, I’m not a real woman. A woman is a female, a human if we want to go into species. And there are many different types. So let us not go to the whole curves= a real woman. No. You do not hear me saying a real man has defined muscles or a beard or anything of that sort.

            Slowly we’re reaching a point where we’re comfortable in our own skin, and though we still have a far way to go, we are on the path and that’s all that matters. Skinny, or fat, no matter what we are, we are all still beautiful in our own way and never you forget that

Xoxo

:)

Weave or no weave

I apologise for any grammatical errors, i would say this was more on the side of a rant, but i'm not even really sure. Either way I do hope you enjoy it

So, recently, there’s been a lot of talk regarding weaves and how guys feel about it. And to be honest, I wasn’t really planning on writing on this topic but as I lay in my bed I thought to myself ‘why not?’

          MY first question to many guys is, what do you call weave? Is it a sew in, braids, tracks, clip ins…what? Because different people call things different. Moreover I am just a tad bit confused because last time I checked, there are actually man weaves, so why you complaining. So, I once asked a guy if he would never give his girlfriend or even wife, money for weave or to do her hair and he said no. And to be honest, I don’t have a problem with that. You are not my daddy to be giving me money to do things that I want to do, or for me to having to be going to you to ask you for money. Independence is key in my eyes and so I should not HAVE to be ASKING you for anything.

          Another thing is, a good amount of males seem to have the misconception that once you wear weave, that means you have no hair on your head… Now if I have ever heard any garbage before this would be it. Females do not necessarily have to have no hair on their head for them to WANT to wear weave, extensions, whatever. They wear it because they want to. Because they want their hair to grow, because they do not want to have to deal with the hassle of combing it and constantly maintaining it every day. Why does me wearing weave affect you so much. That is my true question. Why is it that by me wanting to put something on my head it so heavily affects you. Why is it that you think it is ok to say ‘she wear weave so I doh want her’. Like I honestly do not get it and would love someone to kindly explain it to me. I am in no way saying you are not allowed a preference but why do you hate it so much? And it’s not until you’ve gotten so close and touched some girls’ hair will you guys realise that there are some really good weaves and wigs out there.

          Let us not even bring up that whole ‘it deceives’ thing. Because just no. Yes, I wanna deceive you, I want you to question if the hair on my head is real, that is how good it should look. That stiff and stink weave/look is not cute and that I do not agree with. However, you don’t see me going around saying that beards are deceitful and it makes some guys look semi decent and others look life cruffs do you? No. so do not tell me about the hair on my head, mine or not. Unless it looks like shit, I do not wanna know. I am not saying it is healthy for someone to live in weaves alone or wigs because your hair does need to breathe every now and then but the stigma attached to it has to go. In a year like 2016 where people are becoming increasingly independent and where man weaves are an actual thing, people need to get over girls wearing weaves and wigs. And if you think that just because a girl’s hair looks natural it is, you’re just as sadly mistaken because they have ‘natural hair weaves and wigs’ as well. So sit there thinking, oh I am gonna get a girl with natural hair…lol.

          One last thing before I end, when you guys say ‘I want a girl with natural hair’ is that just your preference or do you honestly think she’ll not be high maintenance. Because if so you are sadly mistaken. In a time where it is now the new trend to go back natural and rock your ‘natural hair’ more and more it is increasingly hard to maintain. Natural hair is one of, if not the hardest hair to maintain and so that whole low maintenance thing just might be bullshit….just saying. A girl’s hair does not determine whether she’s high maintenance. Everyone is high maintenance it just depends on how you look at it. Financially, emotionally, either way, you require constant attention or need something at all times.

Now I think I’ve done quite a bit of ranting so I’ll end this here but do think about the reasons you don’t like something on ALL females or even males and say to yourself, is that really what matters? Especially when you automatically block them out because of that and therefore not even get to really know them.

Xoxo

:)

Religion

I apologise for any grammatical errors that you may encounter, i'm just trying to express my thoughts into words and sometimes things get confused in between translation.....

            So as I was attempting to get some last minute swatting done this morning before my exam, I got to thinking about God and religion. From just that one statement I know you’ve already started drawing conclusions about what this post is about….

            When I say I started thinking about religion what I mean was I started to think about how our society views religion in this day and age. I mean, I know personally, sometimes when someone brings up God, I get slightly uncomfortable, and why should I if I consider myself a Christian? No, I’m not ashamed of my beliefs but we’ve become so used to the fact that whenever someone brings up religion…and in this case I’m talking about Christianity, they expect a certain type of reaction from others. Why is it that I should be afraid to tell you my beliefs or even be timid? Nowadays, someone brings up God and they’re forcing their beliefs on you but the moment an atheist starts up about how much they don’t believe in God and how you’re wasting your time and effort by doing that, it’s called freedom of speech and allowing them to express themselves and their beliefs. Like WTF?!? How does that makes sense? How does me telling you about God and his greatness equal bad but you telling me about how God doesn’t exist and the big bang theory or evolution equals freedom of speech.

            And God forbid I decide to invite you to church or share a scripture with you….that’s a whole other side of stink eyes and shade being thrown. And let’s not forget when you start cussing me out about how I shouldn’t be shoving my beliefs down your throat and trying to force you into doing something like read the Bible or pray. Like really? How do you not see that this is just the beginning to a whole other form of bullying? Since when is being a Christian or religious something to be ashamed about? Since when is expressing your beliefs something that needs to be hidden for fear of being attacked? Yes I understand that we’re living in the last days and we’re supposed to expect most of what is happening now but you can’t be preaching about equality and not giving Christians their fair chance of speaking. Or wait, was that only equality among the sexes? Did nothing else matter when you were preaching your heart out about how everyone should get an equal opportunity in all walks of life.

            Though I like to consider myself a Christian, I’ll be the first to admit I’m not perfect and neither are you. Everyone has their flaws and overtime we just have to grow to accept them but let’s not be hasty to generalise all Christians as pushing their beliefs on someone and therefore attacking them just like how we like to generalise all feminists as being aggressive(that’s a whole other topic for discussion) for example.

        

    Let’s just all learn to love, learn and live

Xoxo

:)

Toxic People

This was mainly a rant to be honest but maybe, just maybe you'll be able to make sense of it with its grammatical errors...

You see, after a certain incident, now more than ever I’ve come to the realisation that certain people need to be cut out of your life. No matter how much you think that they’ve been there for you or that they’ll change, they probably won’t. Stop telling yourself that it’s ok, you’ve known them for how much not years. CUT THEM OFF. It really isn’t healthy for you and they need to realise that what they’re doing is wrong and they can’t continue to treat you in ways that you think is unacceptable.

            The worst part is when you realise that this person isn’t even doing this for a specific agenda but that their behaviour is just a part of their character. That is the worst. When the person honestly doesn’t see anything wrong with what they’re doing. Walk away. It may sound selfish but save yourself. Now more than ever, when talking about some people I realise I don’t like the person that I have become in those times. And I don’t think people should be subjected to me when I get that upset and my personality just seems so ugly. No one should have to be treated like that, and you shouldn’t treat people like that either. It isn’t right

            Why is it that certain people fail to realise that their behaviour and character is ugly. Straight up ugly and unacceptable. It especially hurts when you see where this person is coming from and you know how hard their parents try with them and how kind hearted their parents are and then they just basically disgrace their parents. They bring shame to their name. As Mushu from Mulan would say, ‘Dishonour on your whole family. Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow.’

            As one of my friends would say, it’s time to get your shit together and realise who in your life is needed. Differentiate the leaves from the branches and the branches from the roots. Realise that the roots will always be there, rain, sunshine, snow, it doesn’t matter. Those are the people that you keep around for life. Realise that everyone else may come and go. But no matter what, remember that everyone that has come into your life is there for a purpose and to teach you something in life. Learn from your past mistakes and take a stand. Don’t take any type of behaviour from people, remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and you too should treat others with respect.

Xoxo

:)